“Delivering
Dreams”
You can build the
family of your dreams and we are proud and excited to get you started and be an
integral part of this magical journey with you.
Welcome!
Most people long to
have a family and that does not exclude the LBGTQ community. Unfortunately until a few years ago there has
been so much discrimination facing the LGBTQ community regarding adoption and
surrogacy. We applaud the people, states
and government for opening this door to parenthood. Surrogacy has become
increasingly common, accepted and inclusive for same-sex couples.
There are two (2)
types of Surrogacy…Gestational and Traditional
In the State of
Florida, unless you are married, Gestational Surrogacy is not an option;
however, Traditional Surrogacy is.
Having a partner does not change this law.
LGBTQ
Surrogacy Process
The surrogacy process is essentially the same as other
surrogacy processes. This gives gay men
and lesbian couples the option of being biologically connected to their
child. Surrogacy is achieved either by
using an egg or sperm donor.
Decisions that need to be made should be discussed,
thought about and agreed upon prior to beginning the process:
Who will be genetically related to the
child…whose egg or sperm? You do have
the option of choosing multiple eggs to transfer to the surrogate using the
sperm or eggs of both partners which allows either one or both of them to be
the biological father/mother of the child.
You can also use an identified or
anonymous donor or one partner’s sperm with eggs from a relative of the other
partner giving both a genetic link to the baby.
This is true with lesbian couples too.
After these decisions have been agreed upon, the intended
parents can move forward with the surrogacy process.
Laws
of Surrogacy
Surrogacy is not legal in all states so it’s important you
learn about your state’s laws. Florida
is a Surrogacy friendly state.
Earlier, I mentioned that the LGBTQ community is only
eligible to partake in the Traditional Surrogacy process. That is the law in Florida. What impact does this have? The surrogate will be implanted with an
embryo and carry, labor and deliver the baby as in the Gestational Surrogacy
process. The difference is that the
couple will enter into a pre-adoption agreement. If the relationship is not sealed by
marriage, only one of the two will be able to enter into the agreement. This
agreement will be written and negotiated by your attorney. Once the baby is born, the surrogate’s name
will be on the birth certificate and she will be considered the legal parent of
the child. She will relinquish her
rights within 48 hours after birth and you will begin the adoption process and
adopt the baby. Only one of the intended
partners can enter into the pre-adoption agreement if they are single and not
married. It’s that parent that will
adopt the baby. The other partner will
adopt the child once the adoption is finalized by the intended parent.
Be sure to work with an experienced professional and/or
attorney or both that is familiar with the state surrogacy laws as to navigate
the legal process with their expertise.
What
you need to consider as a gay couple?
Surrogacy is not for everyone. As with anyone else, there
are benefits and challenges of the process that need to be considered.
Yes…
·
Surrogacy fulfills your dreams of completing your family!
·
Surrogacy allows you to have a biological link to one or
both of you!
·
Many surrogates are very interested in helping same-sex
couples become parents through surrogacy!
But…
·
Surrogacy is a legally complicated process that can be more
difficult for same-sex couples, depending on your state law.
·
The cost of surrogacy is challenging and there are fewer
financing options for intended parents than adoptive parents. (we can offer
options for you)
·
You can experience discrimination from not only
professionals but others.
You
are not alone. Heterosexual couples need
to think about these as well when devising their surrogacy plan and goals.
Other considerations
Choose professionals that are open to
working with same-sex couples.
Although there has been an increasing
acceptance of diverse families, you may still experience discriminatory
remarks, comments etc. once your baby is home.
Be prepared for that. As an
adoptive mother, I dealt with them myself.
They hurt and are totally uncalled for.
You’ll get through them but be prepared.
Be prepared to discuss with your
child, as he/she gets older, where they came from and talking about surrogacy
can be a challenge. Just be prepared and
think about it. You have a few years
before this will come up.
HIV positive people can have healthy
children through surrogacy and there’s no risk of transmission to the baby or
the gestational carrier. There are many organizations that help same-sex HIV+ couples have a healthy
baby.
Final Thoughts
You can expand your family through
Surrogacy. You can fulfill your dreams
of being a genetically linked family and bringing a child into your lives.
